my becoming: a mindset and empowerment coach
2020.
Shit got real that year.
I had to examine some things and face some things that I have not had the courage to acknowledge in a very long time. I was struggling, my relationship was struggling and a lot of things were coming to the surface that I had been repressing for too long. All I knew was that I wanted to be better. To feel better. I felt like I had a good life and from the outside, it looked great. But as with all of us, some of our behind the scene reels aren’t as pretty and shiny as the highlight reels we share with the world. I loved my life and yet, I honestly wasn’t as happy as I wanted to be. I had repressed a ton of trauma, abandoned myself, and felt so lost. There was no purposeful dishonesty here. I didn’t have the tools I have today to show up in the more authentic way I craved. There was so much shame in feeling like I had so much to be thankful for but felt this void that was hard to put words to. And honestly, I was scared. Scared of what it all meant.
I started solo therapy in July 2020 after a rock bottom and then hit another one in August that year when my spouse and I separated and headed towards divorce. I decided that for the rest of 2020, that I needed to make some changes but had no fucking clue how to do it. I wanted change and was very intimidated by what that would entail.
But being the determined woman that I am, I dove in head first. It has been so so so messy, intimidating, hard, very non linear, painful AND beautiful, life changing, empowering and life saving.
I learned all I could about myself (and I’m not done yet! I will always be a work in progress and I’m cool with that.) and why I thought and reacted the way I did. Why I believed what I believed. Why I held onto what I held. I wanted to understand my patterns. I wanted to see my blind spots. I wanted to repair ongoing ruptures that appeared in my relationship. I wanted to rebuild, rediscover and reinvent. So that’s what I set out to do.
|Turning my journey into my purpose
For a few years, I had been thinking about becoming a life coach. But with raising a family and believing that I didn’t have the time to do something like that, I never pursued it and never, ever mentioned it to anyone. Never told anyone about this little dream I had. And there was so much self doubt around doing something like that, so I convinced myself that I could not. I was like,
“How am I going to coach other people when I don’t even feel great about myself? Who do I think I am?”
I’ve always loved personal development, psychology and what makes people tick. As I was learning more about myself, learning to love myself and looking at how I was actually showing up, I realized that there are so many of us out here doing the best we can with the tools we have. And most of the time, those tools are old (usually from childhood) and are no longer of service to us in the lives we live, today. I realized that we all struggle with knowing who we are. That we all wrestle with not feeling good enough and the fear that we will never be.
There was so much shame I carried when I realized what was happening. Deep shame. “Can I heal? Can I grow?” I have not had examples of healing and growth in my life. I didn’t have a good example of what that would look like. But I decided to try.
I decided that I wanted it. So I went for it.
I am not the same person I was 4 years ago and I am so damn thankful for that. My mindset is different. The way I want to show up is different. I am learning about me and what I want (finally) and it feels good. I feel like I am finally settling into myself and I REALLY like what I am discovering. This has led me to my passion and my purpose: I know that I can help others as well. I know that I can help others change their mindset, love themselves and show up in differently in their relationships.
Because I did it. Because I am doing it.
And here we are in December of 2024. A lot has happened. A lot has changed. A lot of things look and feel different. And today, I’m still going strong. Coaching about mindset and empowerment has become my focus and passion in the last four years. Major (and I mean MAJOR) imposter syndrome set in when I made this decision to help others, but I AM DOING THE DAMN THING. I am trying not to listen to the self doubt and walk forward anyway. I can’t and won’t let fear make me step back and hide who I am and what I know in my heart what it is I want to do. I am here to take up space, to help others and show them what is possible. To show myself what is possible. I believe in me and my purpose and I’m ready to do this thing!
I can’t wait to share all the things with you, to be of service, to truly help people and make the impact that I long to make in their lives. I am so grateful for my own growth and I can’t wait to see others grow as well. It’s my jam!
I am honored to stand along side others as they grow and heal as well. xx