real life: what does a mature relationship look like?

We learn around here. We become aware of what patterns are impacting our lives. We become conscious of how we are showing up in our lives and in our relationships. We learn to do better. To be better. To love better.

Let’s learn how, together. I am right there with you, loves.

We can commit to become conscious to how our childhood has played a major role in shaping our beliefs, our reactions and our behavior towards one another. The wounds we receive in childhood definitely get carried into our adult relationships.

We can commit to practicing true authenticity with one another and we know that having the difficult and uncomfortable conversations will allow us to grow together. It doesn’t mean that we are bad at relationships. It doesn’t mean that we are incompatible.

We can commit to forgiving ourselves and eachother, often. We know that each person will mess up and make mistakes. We can extend grace and compassion and love.

We can commit to releasing the fantasy that relationships “should” always feel romantic, passionate and exciting. We commit to ground ourselves in the reality of what a mature and authentic relationship can actually bring us: trust, stability and growth.

We can commit to becoming aware of our nervous system response and that learning how to regulate our nervous systems is important. When we feel ourselves being overwhelmed and triggered, we can communicate that and take breaks from conflicts as needed. We will respect this need in one another.

We can commit to being vulnerable with one another. Vulnerable enough to say when we are feeling scared, hurt or upset.

“I am feeling scared right now. Can you please give me a hug and tell me that you love me?”

We can commit to encouraging one another to fully express ourselves, to be free and to be a safe place to return to as we experience the outside world around us.

We can commit to letting go of the unrealistic expectations that we hold over one another. We let go of the demand that our partner can and should make us happy and meet all of our needs. We can commit to taking responsibility for our own fulfillment.

We can commit to building a foundation of friendship, respect and admiration.

Having a mature relationship requires inside work. These relationship commitments require us to be real, to be honest with ourselves. To grow and evolve. The goal here is not perfection. The goal here is compassion, recognizing ourselves in relationship and allowing ourselves to grow with another human. Relationships require work. And that work can be healing.

xx